I taught 21 classes this week (!!!) and because they are 21 different groups of students, every class was an introduction and almost exactly the same, at least once I got my rhythm down. Here I’ve documented, from memory, exactly how my 1-hour lesson broke down. Enjoy! It’s long, but an easy skim, no te preocupes.
STUDENTS: Good morning teacher!
ME: Good morning students! How are you?
STUDENTS: I’m fine thank you and you!
ME: I’m fine/good/very good/great, thank you. Please sit down.
STUDENTS: Thank you teacher!
ME: Do you remember my name? What is my name?
STUDENTS: mumblemumblemumbleAlekmumblemumbleAlek!
ME: That’s right! My name is Alex.
ME: But “Alex” is my… nickname. Do you know “nickname”?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Good! My full name…
ME: Do you know “full name”?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Good! My full name is Alexandra Lea Burrell.
STUDENTS: [garbled] alessandaaaa leeeee belllllelllll
ME: Alexandra Lea Burrell!
STUDENTS: [garbled] alessanda lee belllllelllll [lots of laughing]
ME: Alexandra
STUDENTS: Alexandra!
ME: No “AlexandER”! “Alexander” is a boy!
[lots of laughing]
ME: “AlexandRA” is a girl!
ME: Alexandra
STUDENTS: Alexandra!
ME: Lea
STUDENTS: Lea!
ME: Burrell
STUDENTS: belllllelllllll [lots of laughing]
ME: Burrrr
STUDENTS: [laugh laugh laugh] Burrrr
ME: Burrrrrrrrrrrrr
STUDENTS: [laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh] Burrrrrrrrrrrrr!
ME: Elllll
STUDENTS: [laugh laugh laugh] Elllll!
ME: [super exaggerating mouth and tongue positioning] ELLLLLLLLL
STUDENTS: [laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh] ELLLLLLLLL!!!!
ME: Burrrrr – Elllll
STUDENTS: Burrllrllllrellllll
ME: So-so!
[laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh]
ME: Burrell is my… last name.
ME: Do you know last name?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Good! Burrell is my last name. Alexandra is my… ?
STUDENTS: mumblemumblemumble
ME: First name
ME: Alexandra is my first name. Do you know first name?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Good! First name, Alexandra. Last name, Burrell. What is Lea??
STUDENTS: mumblemediummumblecentermumble
ME: [write “middle” on the board]
STUDENTS: mumblemumblemiddlemumble
ME: Lea is my middle name.
STUDENTS: Middle name!
ME: In Thailand, do you have a middle name?
STUDENTS: No!
ME: No. In Thailand, only first name and last name.
ME: But where I am from, everyone has a middle name.
ME: Do you remember where I come from? Where do I come from?
STUDENTS: mumblemumbleAmericamumble
ME: Good! I come from America, or USA.
ME: USA is the country. Do you know country?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Good! Do you know state?
STUDENTS: No…
ME: State. For example, California… New York… Florida…
STUDENTS: Ohhhhh!
ME: What state do I come from?
[mumbling]
ME: Do you remember what state I come from?
STUDENTS: No!
ME: [write “Michigan” on the board]
STUDENTS: Mexico!
ME: Not Mexico! Michigan!
STUDENTS: Michigan!
ME: Good! I come from Michigan, in the USA.
ME: Now, do you remember what I studied? What did I study?
STUDENTS: mumblemumblemumblecomputermumblemumblesciencemumblemumble
ME: Good! I studied computer science.
STUDENTS: Computer science!
ME: Do you know computer science?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Computer science, like programming.
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: In America, I am a programmer. But in Thailand, a teacher!
[laugh laugh laugh]
ME: Now, I can speak…
STUDENTS: *jumbled* english! thai! china!
ME: What is my language?
STUDENTS: English!
ME: Good! I can speak English.
ME: What else?
STUDENTS: mumblemumblethaimumble
ME: [writing on the board]
STUDENTS: Whoooooooaaaaaaaa!!!!!! [applause!]
ME: I can speak… ?
STUDENTS: Thai!!!!
ME: Yes! I can speak Thai. What else?
ME: [writing on board]
STUDENTS: Whooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! [applause!]
ME: I can speak… what language?
STUDENTS: China!!!
ME: Chinese!
STUDENTS: Chinese!!!
ME: And what else? [writing]
ME: What language is this?
STUDENTS: [mumbling] france? africa?
ME: [writing]
STUDENTS: Spain!
ME: Spanish!
STUDENTS: Spanish!
ME: Good! How many languages can I speak?
STUDENTS: Four!
ME: Right! But in class, together, only English! Ok?
STUDENTS: Ok!
ME: After class, later, [pointing to other languages] ok!
ME: But in class, only one. Only English. Ok?
STUDENTS: Ok!
ME: This is all about me.
ME: Now, I want to know about you. I want to know your… Full name, Your nickname, Your age…
ME: What is age?
STUDENTS: [say “age” in Thai]
ME: Good. How old are you?
ME: I want to know your gender.
ME: What is gender?
STUDENTS: mumblemumblemumble
ME: Do you know gender?
STUDENTS: No…
ME: [writing]
STUDENTS: Ohhhhh
ME: What word? [pointing to the M]
STUDENTS: Man!
ME: Good. Man, or?
STUDENTS: [some of them] male
ME: Good! Male. And?
STUDENTS: Female!
ME: Good! I want to know your gender. Male or female.
ME: I want to know…
STUDENTS: [reading] do you like… oh! music!
ME: Do you know “music”?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Do you like English music?
STUDENTS: Yes! I like!
ME: Good! What song.
ME: I want to know…
STUDENTS: [reading] do you like… movie!
ME: Do you like English movies
ME: Do you know movie?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Do you like English movies?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Good! What movie.
ME: Now, do you have paper? And pen?
STUDENTS: Yes
ME: [miming removing a sheet of paper from their notebook] Take 1 paper, and answer 6 questions. Ok?
STUDENTS: Ok!
Spend the next 10 minutes or so with them answering the questions and me walking around to check on them. They ask how to spell things sometimes, or whether “Yes, I like.” or “Yes, I do.” is correct. And sometimes they stop me to ask, “teacher teacher! speak thai!” or “teacher teacher! beautiful!” or “teacher teacher! do you have boyfriend?”
ME: (Once I’ve collected everyone’s papers) Ok, everyone finished?
STUDENTS: Yes!
ME: Good! Now, what day is today?
STUDENTS: murmermurmer Tuesday!
ME: Good! What date is today?
STUDENTS: murmermurmer First!
ME: Good! Of what month?
[silence]
ME: What month?
STUDENTS: murmermurmer November!
ME: Good! Today is the 1st of November.
ME: What about yesterday? What day was yesterday?
STUDENTS: mumbleSundaymumbleMondaymumbleSaturdaymumbleFridaymumble
ME: Today, Tuesday. Yesterday, …?
STUDENTS: Monday!
ME: Good! Yesterday was Monday. What date was yesterday?
STUDENTS: Thirty-one!
ME: Thirty-… [pointing to 1st November]
STUDENTS: Thirty-first!
ME: Good! Of what month?
STUDENTS: October!
ME: Good!
ME: And what holiday is 31st October? What holiday was yesterday?
STUDENTS: Halloween!
ME: Yes! Halloween! How do you spell “halloween”?
STUDENTS: H! *[but sounds like 8]
ME: H! [lots of emphasis on CH CH CH]
[laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh]
STUDENTS: O!
ME: [shakes head]
STUDENTS: E!
ME: [shakes head]
STUDENTS: A!
ME: Yes!!
STUDENTS: L! [sounds like … something … but not L]
ME: L! [Lots of emphasis on mouth and tongue position]
STUDENTS: L! L! O! Double-U! Double-E! N!
ME: Good! In Thailand, do you have Halloween?
STUDENTS: No!
ME: No. What countries have Halloween?
STUDENTS: [jumbled answers] London! England! Mexico! USA! Spain! Africa! Canada!
ME: [writing just a few of the answers they yell, I don’t actually know if those countries have halloween, but that’s not the important bit here]
ME: And what do we do for Halloween?
STUDENTS: [confuddled]
ME: What is this?
STUDENTS: [yell out “pumpkin” but in Thai]
ME: In English!
STUDENTS: Pumpkin!
W go through a bunch of words, sometimes I prompt them with drawings or references (e.g. The Walking Dead, Twilight).
Then we pronounce each individual word a few times, with special attention to problem sounds. With “witch” I go around the whole class and have them say it – distinct from “wish” – this gets funny.
ME: Good! What is another holiday?
STUDENTS: [confuddled]
ME: Another holiday… What is a romantic holiday?
STUDENTS: Valentine!
ME: Good! Valentine’s Day!
ME: Another holiday?
STUDENTS: Christmas!
ME: Good! Christmas!
ME: And what about in Thailand? What holiday do you have in Thailand?
STUDENTS: Songkran! Mother’s Day! Loy Kratong!
ME: Good!
ME: Now, 4 holidays, 4 teams [pointing to each row of students]
STUDENTS: Ohhh! mumblemumblegame!mumble
ME: [assign a holiday to each team] Each team, 1 person at the board. The team with the most words is the winner! Ready? 3 – 2 – 1 – GO!
Students run and yell and write and it’s all very chaotic, and more chaotic when I say “2 minutes” then “1 minute!” then “10… 9… 8…”
Then together we go through each word on each list, giving points. They get 1 point for each correctly-spelled, sensible word. Half a point for misspelled words, and for words that don’t make sense, or that I suspect they just translated on their phones, no point unless they can explain what it means in English.
And that was my hour lesson! Sometimes there were 1-3 minutes left at the end, so we’d do “Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers” which was always really funny. I think it was a good introduction of me to them, and of them to me. I have a much better understanding of their English level and what kinds of things work well in the classroom.
Now to write my “script” for 21 performances of my next lesson!